


It Felt Right. It Felt Natural. It Was Magic

by wordsinphandemonium



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, as usual, i guess, im cringing, ive written this a long time ago, oh look aless is back on ao3 what, oh well, so my sentence variation is shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-19 00:06:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4725320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsinphandemonium/pseuds/wordsinphandemonium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As they lay side-by-side, Dan asks Phil question. Which leads to something they might either regret or cherish.</p>
<p>"And it’s so cheesy to say this but if I were to compare how my life would be like without you, I’d say it would be an artist without their pencil or brush. A writer without a pen, a singer without a voice. A night without a moon, a day without a sun. A laptop without its charger. A man without their lover"</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Felt Right. It Felt Natural. It Was Magic

**Author's Note:**

> tears tears tears tears tears tears tears 
> 
> I'm so sorry for the cringe-worthy sentence variation <3
> 
> (pssssssst check out my tumblr. I post my fics there. thephandemonium.tumblr.com )

It was currently 12am in the Dan and Phil house and both men were on their backs next to each other. Time stood still as their breathing fell into rhythm, creating a harmony only the two could understand and appreciate.

"Phil, why do you think we met each other?" Dan said softly as he stood up and looked down at his best friend. Following Dan's actions, Phil sat up with an amused expression on his face. The man was used to such questions- Dan Howell and existential questions kind of came together as a package deal.

"Well, we don't really know Fate's reason for bringing the both of us together. In fact, not one person here on earth really knows the reason behind Fate's actions." Phil spoke calmly as he looked Dan in the eye.

"At the end of the day, we need to just make do with what we have and hope for the best."

Brown met blue and as if it were something normal, their heartbeats immediately fell into a similar pattern, the blood roaring in their ears and the lion in their chests aching to break out of its cage. Then all at once, it felt as if nothing else existed but the two of them and the annoyingly spacious distance between them. Words unspoken for nearly 6 years gracefully floated around the room and whispered in both their ears, reminding the men that they were still there. No matter how hard Dan and Phil pushed the very thoughts to the back of their head, the nearer they were pulled to the middle of their hearts.

Slowly, they leaned in. Fear and uncertainty holding them back but exhilaration, desperation, and hope chanted motivations as they aided their collision. Their lips met and Dan swore that he could hear fireworks go off in the distance. Dan's gently brought his hand up to caress Phil's face, tracing complicated patterns which nearly matched the way he felt about this man.

However, while Dan's hands stayed still, painting the invincible masterpiece, Phil's hands were restless- running up and down the younger boy's body, exploring the curves of his hips and the dips of his back. Slowly, Phil tangled his hands in Dan's hair. It felt natural, the way Phil's fingers slightly pulled at the brunet's locks- emitting a moan which sent shivers down Phil's spine.

It felt right, how they were kept in each other's arms. _Magic_. That's the only way Dan could explain it. The words that Phil spoke recently rang loud and clear in his ears. It was true, you can't stop what fate had in store for you and at the end of the day, you need to make do with the path you were lead on. Even if it were horrible- _oh my god. What would the viewers think? They don't have to really tell them now, wouldn't they? Oh my god if they found out, it'd be chaos. What if Dan and Phil decide to break up? How would they tell them that? Well, it's not that Dan was planning on breaking up with Phil at all- but still. Wait. Were they even a thing now? What? No no no Phil couldn't possibly want someone like Dan. It- it was too complicated. Dan would get too attached and when Phil soon leaves (like everyone does in his life) , it would become harder to live. He may not even live at all. Too much was at stake here._

Dan broke away and took a deep breath. His eyes were downcast in fear and shame. Phil's slim fingers raised Dan's chin higher so they would be look at each other.

“Dan? Is there anything wrong?” Phil's voice was dripping with confusion and a hint of fear. Brown met blue once again but the other end didn't meet it with as much passion as the other.

“We can't, Phil. There's too much at stake.” Dan stood up and as fast as he could returned to his room and as he was about to open Phil's door, a hand held his wrist.

“Dan, please. Stay.”

The brunet bit his lip so hard that he could taste blood. Blinking the tears away, Dan said the words he wished never existed in his vocabulary.

“Let's forget this happened.”

_It wasn't magic, it wasn't natural, it wasn't right._

 

 

His heart was practically ripped out of his chest, stomped on, ripped to shreds, and was forced to listen to the voice of a man named Dan Howell on repeat.

People glorify the feeling of being single. The way you don't feel anchored down and the way you feel like your “own person”. What they don't talk about it is how at times, the feeling of loneliness becomes your anchor instead. And no one was there to release you from it, to join you on your voyage and accompany you across seas of troubles and woes.

What's worse is when _you know_ that person you could sail with was there. You know what they look like, the sound of their laughter, the sparkle of their eyes. But no, deep inside you just know that it can't be. You try, but it doesn't work. It was what you wanted but it wasn't meant to be.

_But- but Phil felt something._

What did Dan say? _There's too much at stake._

Yeah, Phil agreed to that. There were things at stake.

_It was real. He felt the spark, didn't he?_ Yes, there was a spark but things still could go horribly wrong. Dan was only being practical and he was rightfully so. Besides, the spark was just lust. Or something similar. _But if you feel something, shouldn't you go with your gut?_

Phil was at a mental battle with himself, both sides contradicting the other and he didn't know which to follow. His heart or his mind? If you go with your heart and it fails, at least you will know it did. You mess up once, you try to fix it. If it works, then well done.

The man was going crazy. So much things were at stake but if he went with what his mind said, he would never know if they'd ever work out. Dan would forever be a what if.

_At the end of the day, we need to just make do with what we have and hope for the best._

Okay, that's it. Every nerve stood on alert and his heart was replaced by a stallion. In his opinion, this is probably the most stupid thing he has ever done. Yes, even more stupid than that night at university. It'd work out in the end.

Phil sat at the edge of his bed, trying to convince himself that what he was about to do was not a waste of time and he shouldn't just snuggle into his bed and cry for eternity. _If you don't do this, you will lose Dan._

_You now know you have the potential and if you left it like this, the both of you'd give up and drift away. This. This is a 50/50 chance. Better than nothing, right? Besides, Dan's worth it._

This seemed to turn on autopilot and before he knew it, Phil stood in front of Dan's door. His hand was flat against the lock door and his breathing was ragged. Here goes nothing.

“Dan? Dan are you awake?” No answer. “

Oh well, if you're awake, then nice. You could hear what I have to say. If not, then I guess we'll just see.” Phil took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He felt as if he were floating away and what now stood at his place was a ghost of what could be.

“I- I don't exactly know what to do, not gonna lie. All I'm wishing for is that nothing goes wrong. Dan? That kiss. It- it meant something. You and I know it. It felt so natural, didn't it? That's how I feel when I'm with you. Like I don't have to be someone everyone wants to see. With you, I can be me. Ever since we met, we fit so wonderfully together. Dan and Phil. Even our names together sound like the name gods blessed it and were like 'We approve. It's a swagtastic combination of names'. “

Phil could hear muffled laughter behind the door and he smiled

“And it's so cheesy to say this but if I were to compare how my life would be like without you, I'd say it would be an artist without their pencil or brush. A writer without a pen, a singer without a voice. A night without a moon, a day without a sun. A laptop without its charger. A man without their lover

“I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want- no. I _need_ you. And I have all these years.” The man who held the sky in his eyes stood in front of the man who held his heart's door. Slowly, Phil started to lose hope.

And when he did, he turned around.

At the other side of the door, Dan was at tears and his forehead was leaning against the door.

In truth, Dan never felt like he had a home. Sure, he's had a house and people who claimed they loved him. But, the whole “a place your feet may leave but never your heart” didn't really apply to him. And now, he can finally say Phil was his home. Wherever Phil went, that's where Dan wanted to be.

He suddenly heard retreating footsteps and in a panic, Dan opened his door and flung himself at Phil. A shocked Phil removed Dan's hands from his waist and turned to face him. His eyes were suddenly drowned in hope renewed.

“What?” Phil whispered.

Dan laughed and grabbed Phil by the collar of his shirt, connecting their lips. Phil's hand found their place at Dan's hips and Dan's found theirs as they were drawing oddly familiar patterns across the cheekbones of Phil Lester.

They broke apart and brown met blue but this time, both sides were bathing in passion and certainty.

_It felt right._

Dan and Phil were in an eskimo kiss when the brunet, all giddy with something formerly unspeakable, spoke.

“Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you. And I don't care what's at stake as long as we're together.”

Phil bit his lip and giggled “I love you too.”

A fire lit in the younger one's eyes and immediately pulled Phil to his (would be soon called their) bedroom and immediately shut the door.

That night, an ember turned into a raging fire, words unspoken have been said, and love hidden away has come out to see the day.


End file.
